Thursday, March 25, 2010

Mosquito Hawk Down!

They're everywhere!

They're in the bedroom. They're in the bathroom. They're in the kitchen. They're in the livingroom. They're outside bouncing along the driveway and beating against the porch light. We're inundated by mosquito hawks!

Big and slow, sometimes about 2 inches long or wide, these unfortunately misnamed, "mosquito hawks," a.k.a. Crane flies actually don't eat mosquitoes. They don't eat much of anything, really. What they do do, however, is magically appear when you least expect them and hover randomly just at the corner of your peripheral vision, giving you the screaming heebie-jeebies when you first notice the sudden bumbling motion. And though they are silent (if erratic) in open flight, when they get up against a wall, say for example, the one directly over the headboard of your bed, they bump, bump, bump, and flutter, flutter, flutter until you scream in frustration and throw off your covers and storm from the room. Last night Stacy was convinced we had rats in our walls until I turned on the light to reveal the true culprits.


I'm not sure why I'm somewhat adverse to killing them. They're kinda gross. Kinda like dumb spiders with wings. They give you the cardio-creeps when they float past you from behind, perhaps brushing a cheek that you are then immediately ready to claw off with your own fingernails. But there's a misfit cuteness about them too. I can relate -- perhaps it's some kind of quasi-spiritual bond, one physically non-sensical creature to another. We are oddly and humorously made. Maybe it's that existential kinship that's drawing them. At any rate, I'm about ready for our little insectoid invaders to thump-bump their way to somebody else's house.

Monday, March 22, 2010

There She Gyoza

I'm pretty convinced love content is roughly commensurate with calorie content. Take my birthday dinner this evening, for example. I came home from work to find it smelling like heaven, rolled in dough and deep fried. I was close. Stacy was slaving away, and had been all day, making Chinese dumplings (pork and shrimp), Avocado eggrolls and a couple of special dipping sauces.





This was followed by a chocolate birthday cake-like structure that flamed threateningly and teetered at about 15ยบ from the vertical, presumably due to all the unlicensed and underaged contractors involved in its construction. Thankfully neither love nor calories must adhere to strict building codes to be effective.

Then L delivered all her hand made birthday cards:




Translation: To Daddy, From L. Open the card and see.







Unwilling to be left out of the gift giving spree, N proceeded to tear five blank sheets of paper out of his Cars® notebook and bequeath them to me. There was a lot of love infused in those cards, so I can only imagine they would have tasted delicious.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Soc-Him!

"Don't forget his water bottle," she said.

"U-huh," said I. My favorite news website was particularly interesting this morning.

"And I've left you a snack for him."

"U-huh."

"I'll see you at the field at 11:15. I map-quested the address for you."

"U-huh."

With that Stacy jetted off on some errand or another, leaving me to my computer and in full possession of N, consequently responsible for his life, health and general well-being, and even more important, for getting him to his first soccer practice. Brave woman. When I finally broke eye-contact with my computer monitor I was somewhat surprised to find N sitting near me staring forlornly up at me, giving me the distinct impression he'd been sitting there a while.

"Where's Mommy?" I asked.

"She's gone out," he answered. "She's been gone a long time."

Funny, I thought. I would have expected her to at least have said good-bye. I shrugged it off and contemplated the morning ahead of me. There were several errands I wanted to run. I had to pick up a couple of shirts I'd almost bought at Macy's the day before (but had forgotten a coupon), I needed to run by the bank to close an old account, and I had a couple of gadgets I needed to pick up at Best Buy. If Stacy was gone, I'd have to take N with me. No problem; N's easy.

I found some shoes for N and loaded him in the car and headed out on my rounds. There was something else I knew I needed to do; it was hovering in the back of my mind, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Got my shirts; closed my accounts; I was in the check-out line at Best Buy when N asked, "Are we going to soccer now?"

That was it! I knew there was something! But when? Where? I racked my brain. Stacy had said something about it being around 11-ish. I looked at my watch: 10:45 - yikes! Now where? I vaguely remembered seeing a map in a web browser window that I'd flipped past earlier while perusing my news sites. The details hadn't really stuck with me, but I did have a visual memory of the term "Nassan Field" and I remember it looked vaguely like a map of Palos Verdes. Not exactly hard evidence, but it was the best I had. I sprung out of the store, bond N to his booster seat and took off for PV. N sat mellowly in his seat, unflappable and rolling with it, as if he's seen this sort of thing many times before.

Providence smiled upon me. As I raced up the PV hill on Hawthorne Blvd., what did I see at the Palos Verdes Dr. N intersection?!? A sign for Nassan Field! I couldn't have found it more easily if I'd actually read the map. I pulled my Corolla into a parking spot right next to Stacy who was waiting in the minivan. It was a little after 11:00, but Stacy was smiling from the van, so I knew couldn't have been too late. I got N out and we met up with Mommy.

"Did you get his water bottle?"

"Huh?" The Mommy-smile faded somewhat.

"Did you give him his snack?"

"Huh?" Definitely no Mommy-smile now. I couldn't exactly make out the grumbling as Stacy snatched N's hand and proceeded toward the soccer field, but it sounded like it had something to do with some regret she had about something she did years ago. I followed a little at length with my tail between my legs. Fortunately once we got to the field and met N's soccer coach my myriad of sins seemed to have been forgotten.

We met the coach, Coach Clive, who's a Brit, or an Aussie, or a Kiwi, or a denizen of some unspecified, non-American, Anglophonic nation. (Of course, now he'll be proved to have been born and raised in Orange County.) We liked him; he was very "coachy" with a stereotypical outgoing personality. Immediately N got a case of the bashfuls and hid behind Stacy. Coach didn't take the lack of a high-fives too personally and gave us our gear and pointed us to the bathrooms. N's soccer lessons came with a cute little powder blue uniform, complete with shin guards and socks that came over most of his thigh. A few minutes later, Stacy and N emerged from the lady's room with N looking like a mini-David Beckham. Upon returning to the field, Coach made another attempt to engage N, but N went on hiding.

It didn't look too promising until three boys, each a year or two older than N (and equally powder blue), flew past him boisterously and out onto the field. In an instant N straightened up and let loose the death grip on Mommy's pant leg and was off full-steam after the boys. After that, he and Coach were buds.



N leads jumping jacks with Coach Clive.





N practices his "soccer statues."






It turned out to be a pretty warm day - actually it was rather hot. About twenty minutes into the practice Coach Clive called a "water break" and immediately all the little boys bee-lined it for their parents who magically produced water bottles for their children. N arrived looking rather winded and flushed. I noticed a brief return of the Mommy non-smile. N was shortly sent back to the field unquenched and every fifteen minutes would again be dismissed to his parental oasis-turned-mirage, where no relief was to be found. Each time he would be sent more flushed and panting back onto the field. About thirty to thirty-five minutes into the forty-five minute lesson N started to have a mid-field melt-down and things looked a little bleak for N (and by extension, me) until Coach Clive went over and gave him a little one-on-one pep talk. I don't know what he said, but suddenly N had the energy to finish out the practice in relative good cheer. Meanwhile, I slipped back to the out-buildings by the bathroom where again, wonder of wonders, Providence kicked in. There, gleaming like yet another mirage, was an Agua-Fresca vending machine! Never did I spend a happier dollar for water in my life.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Catch of the Day

L's kindergarten class gets to take some pretty cool field trips. On Friday they all piled into a bus and went to the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium. This time Stacy got to go along as a Mommy-chaperone. They had some pretty fun exibits and lots of opportunities for poking around all things oceanic. L particularly enjoyed digging and sifting through the beach mud looking for shells, worms and "those crabs that live in a shell but then get too big and go live in a different shell."












Snack time.




Sifting for treasure.


My daddy-spider-senses started tingling, however, when I reviewed Stacy's pictures and noticed a rather common theme in L's choice of classmate companions. This little "J" kid seemed to be featured in an awful lot of the day's photos, and don't you think, I quizzed Stacy, that he was sitting just a little too close on the bus? And did you notice the way he was looking at her. And I certainly don't like the way she was looking at him! I'm going to need to have a talk with that boy!

OK. I'm feeling threatened by a 5-year-old. Time to get a grip.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Jubilate!

The angels sang and the people rejoiced loudly, and great was the sound of it!

An installed washer next to an installed dryer on top of installed tile interfacing with installed plumbing embedded in a painted wall!

Monday, March 8, 2010

They're Good for Your Heart

Brace yourselves. We have come to the threshold of those wonderful potty talk years, where any reference to any bodily function, no matter how sanitized by euphemism, is reason for endless mirth and giggles. I have to admit, I started it. I made one of my world-famous New England-style baked bean dinners tonight. (Stacy always says I put more bacon, salt pork and brown sugar in it than actual beans - as if that could potentially be considered a design flaw.) Naturally, for the sake of their fledgling biological and organochemical educations, I had to give the yung-uns a short lesson on just what might happen to them after partaking in such a dinner. L, finding the prospects delightful, started wolfing down the beans as though there were no tomorrow. N, who is a natural dawdler when it comes to dinner, was not particularly impressed with the provender, and poked around them lazily as usual. He didn't seem much inclined to eat until we informed him that L, seated next to him, was arming herself forcefully for the evening ahead, and if he expected to return fire, he'd better do the same. After that it was all giggles and snorts as they raced to finish their dinners amid a chorus of raspberry sounds and snickers.

Stacy has taken them out for an after-dinner walk. If a postprandial stroll really is as good for one's digestion as all those old English romance novels would seem to indicate, the evening upon their return may be as unlike an old English romance novel as can be imagined.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Toddler Trade-offs

Occasionally friends of ours, the McCallums, need a bit of a toddler break and we get to watch their boys while they have a stolen night out. (It's certainly more than a fair trade, since we've been doing half our laundry at their house for the last two months while our pantry has been disassembled!) On Friday night, they brought over B and S, (2- and 1-years-old respectively) for a little shock and awe at the hands of our kids.

L and N absolutely love having B and S over, and, as usual, attacked them with such enthusiasm when they arrived that the poor kids were a little shell-shocked and semi-catatonic after the initial onslaught. But they settled in just fine and soon L was carting S around with all the gentility of a Heimlich Maneuver. And yes, he did spit up, but only after I rescued him and had him safely in my arms. Thanks a ton, L.





Meanwhile B and N teamed up and practiced their best silly faces. Serious talent galore.





And then some more talent: a piano concerto from B.



I particularly enjoyed playing with S; I'd sing him a song and he would grin and hum along, somewhat randomly, rocking back and forth. I've never had someone appreciate my singing that much before. Leave it to the 1-year-old to recognize fine art.

Soon Mr. and Mrs. McCallum were back from their surreptitious dinner date and our guests departed. L was particularly disappointed, as N has finally put his foot down and doesn't let her cart him around the house as much as he used to any more. Boys can be so uncooperative!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Fire Soup and Birthday Cake

I think Grandma Flo got her fill of Thai food and American kids tonight! Her 83rd birthday was last week, so being a former neighbor, an honorary grandma, and after all, a Perkins, we had no choice but to celebrate with her again. We picked her up around 5 o'clock and took her out to Tasty Siam, her favorite Thai restaurant* just up the street. It was a brooding, gloomy day and it rained on our way over, but it was all light and sunshine in the car once Grandma Flo got in! L and N just love her. It is really wonderful to see how much they dote on her, and it seems the feelings are reciprocated...



We got to the restaurant and Grandma Flo got the seat of honor (?) right between the two kids and probably felt like a human jungle gym the rest of the evening. But she seemed up to the task. Cold and hungry, we immediately ordered jasmine tea and Tom Yum Gai, a citrusy chicken soup we all love. It is served in a big doughnut shaped bowl with a flaming chimney in the center, kind of like Mount Vesuvius has sprung out of your broth. ("I'll have the Chicken Krakatoa, please.") L and N called it fire soup. We also got Panang Beef, Pad Thai, Spicy Mint Noodles, and Tofu with Mixed Vegetables -- Mmmmmm! Great food and leftovers for lunch tomorrow. (Provided the midnight munchies don't set in...)



After Grandma Flo was sufficiently besmeared with curry- and soy sauce-coated hands, we retired back to her house for the rest of the birthday bash. A marble cake with chocolate mousse and chocolate icing finished off the evening.








*I've decided that one day I'm going to open a Christian Thai restaurant featuring authentic, exotic, yet decidedly spiritual cuisine. I'll call it Just As Siam...