Messiah Mayhem

Feeling festive, I dusted off the iPod, plugged it into the speakers, dialed up The Messiah and cranked up the volume. Initially the kids were shocked and annoyed. Zero sleighbells and there were no references to reindeer or sugarplums anywhere to be heard. I had N on my lap and L standing at my side and I could see their interest cresting the edge of the cliff and heading sharply downward. They were about to dismiss the oratorio all together when I said, "You know, this is really good music for singing... LIKE THIS!!!" And I launched into my most absurd accompaniment to the hapless tenor trying to deliver "Comfort Ye." Subtlety of performance was hardly a concern. Pitch? - Bah Humbug! It was all about volume and pomposity. I very soon had a willing trio.

Poor Georg Friedrich was never so sorely but joyfully abused. We belted "And the Glory of the Lord," bopped to "And He Shall Purify," and reached down to the depths of our beings to join in "Thus Saith the Lord of Hosts," even simulating a California 6.0 when the bass promised that "He shall shake the Heavens, the Earth, the seas, the dry land..." Stacy kept peaking in from the kitchen, rolling her eyes and going back to whatever she was doing to give the impression that she wasn't a part of this desecration. Fortunately we never got to the "Hallelujah Chorus." It was pretty painful, I'm sure. Come to think of it, it's probably a good thing you couldn't hear it. I would venture to say... you probably couldn't Händel it. (Ho! Ho! Ho!)