Friday, June 4, 2010

Here There Be Dragons

Fratricide is murdering one's brother. Patricide is taking out your parents. What is the term for exterminating your children? Oh, never mind. I'll just read it in the paper tomorrow...

It has definitely been one of those evenings. The battle of the wills seemed to kick in with L and Stacy in the afternoon and has escalated into something terrible to behold this evening. N, taking his queues from his sister, has set new standards in the "pisser" category. Stacy is finished and I'm more or less ready to call it quits too. Stacy and I are even short with each other, so you know it's been a rough day.

Although I know there's as healthy a dose of inherent brattiness in my kids as any other, I sense it really boils down to being my fault, at least this time. I've been working late every night for the last couple of weeks, or out at meetings or classes, so I haven't been seeing the kids much more than for pecks on the cheek in the morning and at night. Several nights this week I haven't seen them awake at all. There is a strong correlation, I've noticed, to my prolonged absence in the home and their transformation into remarkably effective little demons. Stacy can keep a pretty tight lid on the house for 8 to 10 hours a day, but then her grip begins to weaken and the kids pounce like dogs smelling fear. If I'm not there to be the back-up muscle, things can deteriorate pretty quickly.

Now that the kids are getting older, a quick rebuke or finger wagging, which used to trigger floods of tears and instant repentance, now just brings on the "attitude" and I struggle to figure out the best way to address the challenge and win the fight. Because I really, honestly believe I must win the fight. I am absolutely convinced that the kids themselves will truly be disappointed and in some way damaged if I don't. I'm being tested and the kids are the ones doing the grading. It's a tough test, and its one none of us can afford for me to lose. The key is patience and persistence and faith; running 0 for 3. Uncharted territory. But the kids are in bed now, and hey - grace is renewed every morning, right?

1 comment:

Kim said...

I know, huh? They always say to carefully choose your battles with the kids, but they never tell you how to handle those days when EVERYTHING is a battle! Faith and grace- renewed daily....patience sometimes lags a bit behind. Hugs to you both. I feel your pain....those days ahem....suck.
Love, Kim